In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.

When I was a kid you always heard about the Israeli army and you always heard about this tiny little country and how everyone around them wants them gone, and every time somebody comes after them they take care of business. And so as a Jewish kid you were proud of that.

If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'

Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.

I bought my parents some stuff. That feels kind of good to be able to do that. I got them a place in Florida. I think I'm allowed to say that - I hope my dad doesn't get mad at me. But I don't spend money on myself. I don't like myself enough yet. But the people I love, I like spending the cash on them.

The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don't notice they're getting made fun of. So they'll say something back that's not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.