Comedy, such a lovely lady, she'll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

How do I speak Spanish? Not too well. Paz taught me a few words that, if people weren't nice to me, I could tell them a few things. I got to study with [chef] Thomas Keller, who we all love as a guy and Jim had a relationship with him at [his restaurant] the French Laundry.

I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?

I can't run a company... I can't even run my own life!

Eat turkey all night long, 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong.