I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?

Eat turkey all night long, 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong.

Me and Fred Wolf wrote the movie [ Grown Ups]. The whole idea was about putting together old friends that get to hang out for a weekend.

If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'

When I'm around the kids I feel like I act the most grown-up just because you're supposed to. And I say things, like every other day, that remind me of my own parents.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!