Comedy is ugly. It's honest, it's raw.

I don't want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.

I'm such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.

Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they're always going to be up, and I think that's impossible for anyone.

I am absolutely a Giants fan and I'm a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.

After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.'

Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.