When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.

Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don't think so.

My parents were vegetarians. I'd show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.

Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they're always going to be up, and I think that's impossible for anyone.

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it. So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.

Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.