When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.

Marriage isn't a carnival ride.

Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.

I liked comedy, but didn't know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.

I love it when I come across a word I don't know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren't smart enough to come along with me.

But I love stand-up, and it's where I came from creatively, so it's something I never want to walk away from.

I grew up on the back of a motorcycle - my dad didn't have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.