If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

I want a president who can handle a cream soda.

I think the government has a role in protecting the fundamental rights of its citizens.

It's not preppies, cause I'm a preppie myself. I just don't like homosexuals. If you ask me, they're all homosexuals in the Pudding. Hey, I was glad when that Pudding homosexual got killed in Philadelphia.

Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn't do the only job they're supposed to have, the only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.

My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O'Reilly is kind of a bully, and he's the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground. And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, 'Teacher, sue him.'

There is - I mean - I found early in life that righteous indignation is a little off-putting, and so I try to couch it with humor.