I went into a restaurant one night and ordered lobster, and the waiter brought me one with a claw missing. I called him over and told him about it. He told me that in the back there's a tank they keep the lobsters in and while they're in there, they fight and sometimes one loses a claw. I told him 'then bring me a winner.'

If you're straight with your players, they'll be straight with you.

If winning weren't important nobody would keep score.

I come from New York where, if you fall down, someone will pick you up by your wallet.

On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.

Live every day as if it were Saturday night.

All love affairs end. Eventually the girl is gonna put curlers in her hair.