Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

I don't want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garage bands and alternative music, but that's more my personal taste.

I write and write and write, and then I edit it down to the parts that I think are amusing, or that help the storyline, or I'll write a notebook full of ideas of anecdotes or story points, and then I'll try and arrange them in a way that they would tell a semi-cohesive story.

That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.