Well I've made no secret of my life long love of MAD Magazine, it's probably my first and greatest influence in terms of my comic sensibilities. I've known John [Ficarra] for many years, and we've been friends. About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.

Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.

I'm very analytical, I'm very precise. I mean, I don't write for kids.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

I'll be mellow when I'm dead.

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.