So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.

Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.