There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?
Alan CorenThe role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.
Alan Coren10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?
Alan CorenSadly, as with so much about history's heroes, it's the spotting of potential fame that's the difficulty, whether it's publishing their poems, hanging their paintings, or buying their old underwear. Think of the great men whose lives passed in penury and hacking coughs due to public unawareness that their littlest possession would end up at Sothebys or the basement at Fort Knox.
Alan Coren