I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

The role of humour is to make people fall down and writhe on the Axminster, and that is the top and bottom of it.

Sadly, as with so much about history's heroes, it's the spotting of potential fame that's the difficulty, whether it's publishing their poems, hanging their paintings, or buying their old underwear. Think of the great men whose lives passed in penury and hacking coughs due to public unawareness that their littlest possession would end up at Sothebys or the basement at Fort Knox.

10.30 Newsnight: What Are The Chances Of World War Three Breaking Out After You Have Gone To Bed?

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.

Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren't called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)