There's nothing funny about flying to Houston.

I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, "It's a stormy night." Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: "It's a calm night." Then I'd cross out night. It's noon. Because you know how much night costs. You know how much rain costs. Nothing comes free in movies.

You always got to be happy when somebody likes what you do. It's stupid not to be happy.

If I'm going to act in someone's movie, I want the movie to be interesting and be able to get a couple of solid doubles.

I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.

I can't not put humor in a book.

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.