When you improvise on the spot, people are very reluctant to have soft moments or quiet moments or sad moments because they're trying to fill up the spaces. So they always go towards, "How come you're late?! You're supposed to have my shirt ready! You call this a dry cleaner?!" That's what happens. That's why improvising on the spot gets very dicey.

I'm not Elvis. I don't get chased by paparazzi.

There's always the standard six people you can hire that have played all these villains in Hollywood. Instinctively, when they come on screen, you know what's going to happen. You don't know the story, but you know what they do.

Don't worry, and don't kick yourself forever. Just take the opportunities when they come.

Acceptance is going to a restaurant where the salad's not great, but the steak is fine.

I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.