I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll ever have, because the emotions run high.

Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It wont be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.

Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.

Someone asked me "what do you think of Donald Trump?" And I said, "I would rather vote for Hillary Clinton in jail." If she gets convicted, I'll vote for her for president.

When I went to acting school, the kids that got the best grades were the kids that could cry on cue. But it didn't really translate into careers for any of them, because the external is the easy part.

In my screenplays - from the very beginning I've always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them.

You make friends with older people and you always feel young no matter what.