All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf.

It was Mrs. Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as "the deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue."

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking.

There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.