Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking.

The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.

Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune.

One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.

I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison or Steele, and do so in full regard that by tomorrow it will have been burned, or used, if at all, to line a shelf.

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

Nothing risque, nothing gained.