I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.

If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.

If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

I don't think people were that interested in what I was doing for the most of the 1990s.

Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip.