Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming, "I'd like to do some masticating and enzyme secreting."

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

Love is lovelier the 7th time around.