The whole business of smoking is like forcing yourself to wear tight shoes just to get the pleasure of taking them off.

I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.

I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.