I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

The whole business of smoking is like forcing yourself to wear tight shoes just to get the pleasure of taking them off.

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.