I'm just sitting around thinking about turkey.

Although I don't take myself very seriously, I do take my work extraordinarily seriously.

Do not allow watching food to replace making food.

Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook... so don't touch that door!

That's the ultimate goal of most turkey recipes: to create a great skin and stuffing to hide the fact that turkey meat, in its cooked state, is dry and flavorless. Does it have to be that way? No. We just have to focus on what the turkey is and what the turkey needs.

The only unitasker allowed in my kitchen is a fire extinguisher.

I never rated my cuddle factor, but I expect it's pretty low.