REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.

IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.

RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.