PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.

Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language.