PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.

We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.