You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.

Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.

EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

Die: To stop sinning suddenly.

Houseless: Having paid all taxes on household goods.