TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of "hands across the sea," and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night; professions of eternal amity provide the night.

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.