EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.

TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect ("Glossina morsitans") whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist ("Mendax interminabilis").

QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.