EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.