PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.

Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.

Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.

IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

A penny saved is a penny to squander.