UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.

RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless.

Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.