Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.

Miss, n. A title which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.

Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral.

Theology is a thing of unreason altogether, an edifice of assumptions and dreams, a superstructure without a substructure

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.