ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."

BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.

HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.