ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape as "One day a wag - what would the wretch be at? Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! . . ."

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.

OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids.