An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.

The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.

SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.

INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition to the Supralapsarians, who hold that that luckless person's fall was decreed from the beginning.

When you doubt, abstain.

KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.