An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

Twice – Once too often.

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.