Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

A revolution is a violent change of mismanagement.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.

Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.