SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.

INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.

WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.