Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians.

Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else

VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.