Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans".

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.

Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

PROPERTY, n. Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.