Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.