Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.