I was born to poor because of honest parents.

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.