Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege - to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!

Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.

Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.