PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.

SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness.

RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.

I keep a conscience uncorrupted by religion, a judgment undimmed by politics and patriotism, a heart untainted by friendships and sentiments unsoured by animosities.

Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.