NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.