NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.

LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.

PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.

COMPULSION, n. The eloquence of power.

Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.

A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.