Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'

MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.

There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.

Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.

HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.