Book - Learning : The dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impertinent ignorance.

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.