UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

Intolerance is natural and logical, for in every dissenting opinion lies an assumption of superior wisdom.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

New York is too strenuous for me; it gets on my nerves.

UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom - and of whom only - it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.