Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague today . . . is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness.