Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus: Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man. Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore- Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second. This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.