Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.

Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.