Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.

Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.

LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.

MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.