Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

LINEN, n. "A kind of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of hemp."

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

Book - Learning : The dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impertinent ignorance.

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.