Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.

Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.