Platitude: All that is mortal of a departed truth.

What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.

RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.