Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors - to dislodge the worms.

SORCERY, n. The ancient prototype and forerunner of political influence. It was, however, deemed less respectable and sometimes was punished by torture and death.

Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.