Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.

SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.