Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.

If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.

NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.

Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination . . .

Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.