Appetite, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.

COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.

CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.

Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.